

X MARKS THE SPOT:
We’re All Going to Die!
So… What’s for Lunch?
13 More Offbeat Essays by David Boyne, Boldly Exploring the Irony of the Ordinary
This is the third book in the series, I COULD BE WRONG, BUT… COLLECTED ESSAYS OF DAVID BOYNE. Other Kindle books in the series include, HAPPY ACCIDENTS, TRAVELS IN MY THREE POUND UNIVERSE, and, RESISTANCE IS FUTILE (available Summer 2011).
(Please note: No trees were mistreated or harmed in the production of this Kindle book. All electrons employed are over 18-billion-years old and freely consenting. Any resemblance between the characters in these stories and actual people is entirely intentional.)
BOOK DESCRIPTION
Hilarious, deceptively meaningful essays of ordinary, everyday events, in which the author sets out to prove his startling, radical, highly controversial assertion that we are all going to die.
In these fast and furiously funny essays we ride shotgun as David Boyne arrives in a new city and is given a map by a mysterious stranger (X MARKS THE SPOT), or reads his email (GRUDGE HOLDING LETTER BOMBING SHIT LISTERS), or strains to curb his inherited gene of East Coast sarcasm as he mixes it up with goofy new-age Californians (IT’S ALL GOOD, ADVENTURES IN THE LAND OF THE LOTUS EATERS). We breeze down a wacky detour back to high school (WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!) but then take a wrong turn and find ourselves lost in the woods (JUST PASSING THROUGH). We will stand with our ironic guide on the rim of the Grand Canyon (FAST MOVING HIGH FOLLOWED BY LINGERING DEPRESSION), and ride a bike with him through grid-locked Manhattan (PAST PRESENT FUTURE), and drive a sick child to the emergency room (BREATHING LESSONS), and explore the meaning of a Japanese obituary (EITHER AND OR).
And after this wild, bumpy, exhilarating, sardonic odyssey through the ordinary, we will look up and find -- that we are right back where we started. The world around us is exactly the same as when we left it.
But we’re not.
Praise for I COULD BE WRONG, BUT… COLLECTED ESSAYS OF DAVID BOYNE
"These essays are poignant, funny and intellectually charged."
— Traci Foust, author of Nowhere Near Normal, A Memoir of OCD
“Read David Boyne at your own peril, and be prepared to duck.”
— Thornton H. Sully, A Word With You Press
“These essays brim with profound insight. They are tales of ordinary life, extraordinarily observed. And they’re funny. So funny you hardly know he’s making you think ‘til you catch yourself doing it.”
—Patty Kadel, Cartoonist
“The stories in this way off-the-beaten-path travelogue take you through a beautiful, spongy, delightful mass of gray matter. They are wry, tender, and carry just a hint of the acerbic. They intoxicate.”
—Ann S. Bancroft, WriTeRsMOnthlY.com
“Like those other two Davids, Dave Barry and David Sedaris, David Boyne analyzes life's minor truths and comes up with the uncomfortable (some might say, absurd) questions that may not topple governments, but do make life richer.”
—Ken Callaway, Screenwriter/Composer
“Beautifully crafted, poignant, and humorous. Essays by David Boyne capture the magic in daily life, if we stop and pay attention. He reminds us that happiness, indeed, is not an accident.”
— Paula Margulies, author of Coyote Heart
About the Author
David Boyne has failed at everything he has tried, except being a writer, and a rewriter. At one time he considered becoming a better person, but when told identity theft was illegal, he abandoned the idea. He has lived in Connecticut, Florida, Maine, Rhode Island, Oregon, Manhattan, San Francisco and San Diego. He now lives in the Center of the Unknown Universe. When not busy boldly staring into Space, being distracted, or scheming for Total World Domination, he exposes himself in public at DavidBoyne.com and ICouldBeWrongBut.com.
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